ZeroSymbolic7188's Reviews
User Shadowdoom9 (Andi) writes "Interesting review, Zach. Now I'm curious about your thoughts on Metallica's other highly hated album St. Anger. I haven't listened to that one but I'm aware of the amount of hate it has received." In response to my review of the much maligned Lulu project.
Well, ask and ye sha'll recieve...
The late 90s and early 2000s saw the emergence of nu-metal acts such as Slipknot, Korn, Limp Bizkit, Disturbed, System of a Down, and so forth. That context is important when trying to understand Metallica's St. Anger, Megadeth's Risk, or Slayer's Diabolus in Music. These albums aren't the worst things ever made, but they are widely considered to be missteps in the discographies of otherwise legendary thrash metal bands of the 1980s. The effect was kind of like a lame dad trying to relate to his angsty teenage son. It was uncomfortable and a little awkward because "dad just doesn't get it." The old legends were a bit out of their element is what I mean. In Metallica's particular case add on top of it that the band and it's members were a mess at the time-if you have not seen the rockumentary "Some Kind of Monster" it's kind of a mandatory watch, and explains a lot about why this thing came out the way it did. Then of course there is that god forsaken snare tone BONG BONG BONG BONG.
Let me explain how that snare makes me feel, as a young man I once rented a video game called Turok Dinosaur Hunter 2: Seeds of Evil. The game is recently remastered, and worth playing for nostalgia or if you enjoy "boomer shooters". Why do I bring this up? The game features a weapon called the Cerebral Bore. You fire the Cerebral Bore at an enemy and it drills into their skull then explodes, blowing the head off in gory fashion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CaiXVbFZXI That is what the snare drum on this album does. It gradually bores it's way into your brain until your mind explodes-no not in the fun way, but rather in the dentist drill during a root canal kind of way. It's damn unpleasant, and it doesn't stop.
The best thing about this is album is the opening track "Frantic", because it contains an absolutely goofy chorus FRANTIC-TICK-TOCK, TICK, TICK-TICK-TOK! and the line "My lifestyle determines my death style." Which I've been internally and externally debating if it is brilliant or the absolute stupidest fucking line in a song ever sang. I think it's very cheesy like a goofy Doctor Seus thing, but James is singing it with his whole heart like it's the deepest shit he ever wrote, and damned if I don't want to hear him do it from time to time. That track is responsible for 0.5 of the 1 star I gave this album.
The title track is a weird metaphor that just doesn't work. St. Anger-he's bustin' out, he's bustin out... it's dumb as all hell, and yet I constantly reference it in near daily conversations with my wife whenever a student at work (we are teachers) or our family dog becomes clearly irritated with something we can't explain-it's St. Anger.. he's bustin' out, he's bustin out! That's another .25 of the single star rating.
The remaining .25 is for "Purify" which would be great if it was about 1/3rd as long as it is.
Everything else on this album is a waste of time. 5 of the remaining 7 songs are over 5 minutes long, some getting up around 7 or even 9 minutes in length, and there was not a single idea on this album worth expressing for more than 3... no 2 and 1/2 minutes. Shave these songs down to their best parts, and make a punk album and hey I could see it... except BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG. There is no saving that snare tone, and listen I know that snare tone is a running gag in the metal community, but it really is some unholy torture device if you listen to this album in one sitting. I can not remember a single memorable thing about any of those songs, not a single thing, not line, not a riff, none of it. I remember the BONG BONG though, the goddamned BONG BONG BONG.
Without the context of Some Kind of Monster, you would think this album was some kind of sadistic hazing ritual on Robert Trujillo. "Welcome to Metallica now play the shittiest music you've ever played", but it wasn't-nobody is that sick and cruel.
It was an unpleasant, misguided experience that nobody, not even the band, enjoyed. This is not the album Metallica wanted to make, this was the album that Metallica had to make at that time, and it plays like it.
Doing this review on reccomendation from user Shadowdoom9.
Let me begin by saying that this is objectively good music. It's catchy, it has a lot of memorable moments. It fits well on hard rock/metal radio stations. Most people that hear this are going to have a pretty decent time with it. I had a decent time with it myself. This might not be music that I would seek out but it's also music that I wouldn't mind coming on the radio or at a party, and it's probably very good in a live setting as well. I have some critiques, but don't get the idea that this is a bad album. Spin it and it'll be at worst just OK, and you might love it.
For me it's a bit over produced, and a bit over polished. I wish that the bass was a little heavier in the mix, and that the basslines didn't follow the guitar quite so closely. The crash symbol is also plagued by compressed production this is common on early 2000's rock and metal releases but this album is from 2011 and this should've been caught and fixed. The vocals are well done and have their heavy moments but for the most part are a little bit too clean for me.
The final package hits me like a lighter, more friendly version of Lamb of God. I prefer LoG, but this is a solid offering.
I was 13 in Mr. Byke's (thats Bi-Key not Bike) art class-the first class of the day, working on a paper animal. You know that project where you glue tissue paper to a balloon to create an animal? That one.
Anyway up to that time I had lived on a farm in the deep rural areas of Nebraska, along the Kansas Border. If you need a clearer picture do a quick google of Inavale, Nebraska and understand I was still 20 miles south of THAT, so my musical understanding consisted of 90's pop courtesy of KQKY Hits 106 (105.9)-the only radio station with a signal that would reach us, my dad's collection of OLD time country like Hank Williams Sr, Marty Robbins, Waylon Jennings, ect., and my mother who was a fan of opera, musicals, and symphonies. We did have VH1 so I got pretty acquainted with the 80s as well. I had lived a hard life out on the farm and had a lot of scholastic struggles related to a chaotic homelife. This isn't a blog about my life, but an album review so I will leave it at that. I do have point in mentioning it...
Mr. Byke was a fan of classic rock and he would bring in various mix tapes he had made and play them as we worked on our art projects. On this particular morning, one of those tapes changed my life and I remember it vividly; I'm 35 now and I can transport myself to that time and place as if it's happening right now.
THUMP... THUMP... THUMP... THUMP BROOOOWWWWW--oooooooWWWWWWW "I AM IRONMAN!" BROOOOOOOOOOOWWWW-oooooooowwww... and then what I consider to this day to be the single greatest piece of audio ever recorded, the iconic riff from Tony Iommi. I stood up and forgetting where I was exclaimed "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?" Mr. Byke promptly handed me a detention slip but I was to serve this one in his office rather than the usual detention room. I did not mind at all to stay and have Mr. Byke tell me all about Black Sabbath, and it's wild front man Ozzy Osbourne. I also heard Randy Rhodes play "Crazy Train" that day. Ironman is this story about a man who is used and rejected by mankind, and sets on a path for revenge-it was the first time I heard lyrics that I related to-"You mean other people are unhappy too?"
That was pretty much it-I knew what I was gonna do with the rest of my life. Play heavy Metal.
And that's the impact a single track from this album had on me. There are 8 on this album. Need I say more?
I was introduced to SubRosa by word of mouth from another user here at Metal Academy called "Sonny". I decided to try out the highest rated album-this one, More Constant than the Gods.
What I got was the usual thick production that one comes to expect in a doom metal release, but this one had some stand out elements. There is a lot of orchestration in addition to the traditional doom band set up and it's done well here. The atmosphere here is crushingly beautiful melancholy. Rebecca Vernon is reminiscent of Jefferson Airplane's Grace Slick, and she uses her voice to supplement the music and enhance that atmosphere and I think that a lot of the psychedelic feel to this album comes down to her voice. "Cosy Mo" is a stand out track with strong guitar riffs, and it earns a slot in any heavy metal fan's mixed play list.
This one is not quite on the level of my absolute favorite doom metal offerings, but it is undeniably a very good doom album with many strong features.
There you have it, the pride of Salt Lake City Utah, Subrosa.
So there I was, having a perfectly mediocre time, listening to some generic power metal, with an incredibly high pitched lead singer who, only mildly annoyed me, and then I heard the track, "Lonely" and I had to knock of the extra 0.5 of a star taking this from a 2.5 to a 2 rating for this track alone, it was that bad. Sir leave that woman alone. We get it, you were friend-zoned and her current guy isn't good enough for her but like, stop simping. The rest of the album is as previously stated. Mediocre, generic, mildly annoying. But , if you play it at a reasonable volume in the background while doing other things it makes for an alright album.
2 songs in. Bruce Dickson came on my window and then ripped off the Phantom of the Opera organ riff and my wife told me she was going to physically fight someone or something if she had to listen to any more of it because it felt like ants under her skin listening to it. I could not Defend it and had to put in head phones so she could enjoy the silence. The songs do not improve after that I am afraid and I had to suffer the overreaching ;lyricism alone. I am a Bruce Dickenson and Iron Maiden enjoyer and I did noy Enjoy this. Remember he LEFT Iron Maiden to make THIS.... A crime.
I'm giving a single star for the bass player on this. The rest of the album here is generic and bad in my opinion and sound like a grab bag of discarded 80's lyrics and riffs while also having Bon Jovi knock off over tones. If you enjoy Bon Jovi... Actually just go listen to Bon Jovi I won't recommend this for you either.
Another incredibly talented and important musician gone from us too soon, his name was David Gold and he was the brains behind Canadian outfit Woods of Ypres. Gold had an incredible voice that was instantly identifiable, a deep gothic baritone dripping with sorrow, and he wrote songs that suited this sublimely. Every Woods of Ypres album is good, and any Woods of Ypres song is good. High quality musicianship and songcraft flowed effortlessly from this man. Type O Negative, My Dying Bride, Woods of Ypres, and Tiamat would be my gothic metal Mt. Rushmore. Stop reading the review and go listen to the album because when nature comes collecting it doesn't care at all about you.
This is very talented band making very ambitious music. The atmosphere, production, and originality displayed here are incredible. The vocalist is Rowan London, and he is a force of nature that has to be experienced more than explained. That being said, as good as it is, like objectively great, nothing on it does anything for me. I felt kind of bad about that until I look around, and saw that this album actually hit a lot of people that way. Nobody disputes the quality of the product, but very few people sighted it as "special", some said it was even disappointing. I guess you have to listen to it and decide for yourself. I was not moved by it in any way, but putting a 2.5 on this doesn't feel like the right thing to do either, as it's anything but average. My final verdict: You should hear this once. You might not ever revisit it, but it does warrant a moment of your time.
I absolutely love and miss Pete every day. He is a huge influence on the musician and song writer I am today. Type O Negative was an incredibly important, influential, and innovative band. Pete was always a huge fan of the Beatles, sometimes referring to Type O as the "drab four" in mirror of the "fab four" moniker the Beatles wore. More than any other Type O offering, the Beatles influence is felt here, it's slightly more conventional and slightly more optimistic than the rest of their catalogue-SLIGHTLY being the operative word here. It's still every bit a Type O Negative album, and Type O Negative albums are damn good.
In this album Tribulation are trying to make something equal parts black metal, and gothic metal. If you are looking for that particular niche to be filled, then this is possibly the only game in town, and certainty the best game in town, but it begs the question, "did anybody want this?". I don't think there is enough gothic atmosphere and ambience to have this work for a goth metal fan, and to a black metal fan... what black metal fan wants to hear black metal without trem picked guitars, harsh dissonance, and blast beats? I don't think it satisfies that side of the coin either. This is what you listen to if you really want just a blackened-gothic experience specifically, otherwise it's lost in the ozone.
This is a tale of two vocalists. On one hand you have a female singer that is undeniably special, her voice is rich in quality with range and power. On the other hand you have a male singer who is sub-standard, and when he is put next to her on the same album the end result makes him feel worse than he probably actually is-because of being next to her. What happens then is that it's delightful when she is handling the vocal duty, but every time the man comes in with that generic growl it sucks all the charisma out of the performance. This album for me was just waiting for the guy to shut up so I could hear the lady sing. As far as the band goes, it's just adequate-there are no world beating technicians or particularly innovative tones on display. For me it's just average but if the male vocal doesn't irritate you as much as it did me, then you might like this in an above average sort of way. It comes down to him vs her.
Tiamat are legendary in gothic metal/rock community, and with good reason. This album is a masterclass in how to do this kind of music. The chosen tones, the melodies, the mix. All of it is 100% on point. I even like the choice of cover-the album ends with "Sleeping in the Fire" originally by W.A.S.P. and it's a perfect choice not only for Tiamat but for this album-a carefully selected cover. I'm deliberately being vague about what the album sounds like because I earnestly want you to go listen to it for yourself. I would hold this up as a masterpiece of Gothic music, and I wish very much that I could write songs like the ones on this album. It's Perfect.
This is among the worst music I have ever heard. The vibes you get from this band is even more Scooby Doo than Ghost, and I fucking hate Ghost. That being said Ghost is a better band than this is. This album is also home to the most unpleasant drum mixing I've ever heard. This is like an album designed to irritate me. I actually got more and more agitated through its run time.
The production and musicianship on this album are way ahead of many peers. It’s just an absolute joy to listen to because it’s so tight and so well mixed. Each song on this track is better than the one before it and it starts in a place most albums never get to. “How Could You”, “Joy and Happiness”, and the grand finale “The Bathroom Monologue” are highlights and suggested samples. This thing right here is thoroughly satisfying.
This is a standard gothic metal affair but what makes this one a little bit better than average is that the guitar and bass tones have slightly more aggressive distortion (just slightly, but noticeable). This album also contains more tempo shifts and groove than a lot of other albums in the sub genre. It’s not prog by any stretch, but it all comes together to be just a notch above the average gothic metal offering. It’s even got riffs!
This album is an hour and 12mins long, so if you like it there is plenty of it. However, I thought it was just OK so it felt every bit of an hour plus. Toward the end my wife asked me “how is the music going”, and I responded “well I’m about an hour deep into into and I have nothing interesting to say about it.”
The remaining 12 minutes or so did not change this assessment, so here it stands.
Do you like choral vocals? The answer to that question has a lot to do with whether or not you will like this. It slaps them on thick. I found this music rather unremarkable outside of that feature, and that feature doesn’t do a lot to move the needle for me, so I left this one right down the middle at 2.5.
They say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, but there is nothing flattering about this sorry ass excuse for a Lacuna Coil clone.
Start with Lacuna Coil.
Make the production absolutely ass-push the worst aspects of Lacunas music as far forward in the mix as possible. Now layer it to ridiculous proportions.
Take that and run it through a talent strainer, because we can’t have anything good interfering with the pure septic essence that this thing is.
Some people are going to hear the unconventional instrumentation that comes on thick and heavy and become tricked into thinking they are hearing something special. Make them sit through the whole album, let that wear off, and see if they like it once that new and shiny feeling goes away.
This is obnoxious, grating, and irritating music mixed to torment. This is what plays 24/7 in hell.
Ya know what? Each year I watch the annual Eurovision contest and without fail there is a country that sends that contests “metal” entry, and it’s always horrible and I always hate it-that’s what this sounds like.
[Chorus]
Those with hearts of ever-frost
Always know we never lost
Flames rose high... Not enough to melt the ice
Tiny minds and virtuous whores
Bunch of morons with a cause
Jesus saves? — We will piss upon your graves!
How bout go fuck yourself?
If you want me to listen to you criticize my religion you’re going to have to present an argument that is more sophisticated than a peeing Calvin sticker.
This is some incredibly generic music coupled with some incredibly pretentious lyricism.
One of these tracks contains the following:
“Once I got to witness a murder
Blood spattered sheets, it was still a dream
Would I have been reflected from the mirror of yours”
That’s the type of “head up its own ass” stuff we are dealing with here, and the music isn’t matching the grandiose of such lyrics.
It’s like if you had the lyricism of Morrisey backed by the musicianship of the Sex Pistols. No just No.
A score of 2.5 right down the middle. Imagine a song comes on the radio, and it’s not great but it’s probably better than what is on other stations. That’s this whole album. I wasn’t begging for it to end but I not excited to hear it again any time soon. This is certainly some gothic music that exists-one of the gothic albums of all time.
Wow! This is one of those rare albums where a band throws everything at the wall and it all sticks. In addition to the usual gothic metal set up you will also get 5 different vocal approaches, an oboe, electronic elements, and bagpipes. This is not just a case of more is more either, but a genuine case of more is better. They bring everything to the table and they also figured out how to make it all work together. Hats off to the composers-they had to balance a ton of ingredients and the end result is very impressive. Absolutely a must listen.
I found this album to be above average on average, so I was riding it at a solid 3. Then I heard “Unreachable” which is a very good song and that pushed it up to 3.5. It’s a very solid album with a single especially bright spot.
This is fine, but there is no variety to be found. If you hear one track from this album you’ve pretty much heard every track on this album. It’s floaty gothic vocals that sound like a poor man’s Wolfsheim over generic gothic drums and guitars. Its not a bad formula but it’s been done better by other bands in other albums.
Something in the production here is off and it makes the whole thing unpleasant to listen to. The band tries to mesh their goth metal with elements of black metal, and the end result is something I would not recommend to fans of either subgenre. I applaud the bands ambition, but nothing works here.
This thing is awesome! It promises Gothic Rock/Metal, Space, and psychedelia, and delivers on all fronts. I usually like to compare my reviews to big well-known acts, and there are some that come to mind, but in this case I feel it would be a disservice to the originality within. 8 Tracks, and 40minutes all of it not only skipless but warranting of multiple listens. I would happily and confidently recommend any cut from this to anyone. It's that undeniable. I found "Like a Leaf" to be an extra special song on a special album. It hit me like hearing Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" for the first time. This album has many flavors, all of them very tasty. Simply amazing!
Gothic Finnish Stadium Rock? Sounds kind of weird doesn't it? Well, listen to it and tell me I'm wrong. I'm awarding 3 stars because I can't say that I've heard something quite like this before, or is it that I've heard a lot of things that sound like this, just not quite this way? *thinks to self* I've heard these pieces before, just not assembled into to one package quite this way. It's somehow got something to do with Lacuna Coil and HIM, but also U2 and Live, maybe The Cult? It's also very very Finnish-I can't explain why, it just is. That being said while it is novel, once you get about halfway through you come to realize that it's shown you all it's tricks, and when the novelty wears off it's pretty average music at the end of the day. This might be fun to pull a song or two out and say to someone "listen to this and tell me what you make of it". It's a 2.5 product raised to a 3 because it was interesting for a little while.
Boring, unwieldly, and cheesy. The song lengths here range from 5:30 to 15:22 there are 8 of them, and there is not an exciting riff, catchy vocal melody, or witty line of poetry among them. It does have every cliche of the sub-genre; beauty and the beast vocals, atmospheric rain, "spooky" voice overs, and melancholy progression, but at least for me, none of it comes together in a way that feels cohesive or enjoyable to listen to. It's as if they took all the ingredients and just threw them into the cauldron without giving thought to ratio, or how they might come together. It doesn't do anything interesting, doesn't take any chances, and it's not executed well enough to simply be a great representation of tried and true formula. Additionally, it is a concept album about Lucifer's fall from Heaven, done in a way that I think is meant to inspire sympathy for the fallen angel. That's some goofy stuff, and it was never going to work for me, it's the kind of premise you go for when you're 14 and want to be edgy. There was just something about this that I found incredibly lame from the start, and listening to it was a drag for me. I would not recommend it to anyone, and I don't see myself listening to or talking about it with any kind excitement.
This is really good stuff here. It mixes some of the best elements of doom, goth, and death metal all together in roughly equal proportions. It's also super well produced which is a tall order with music that has this much low end, so much respect for that. Classy is the word I would use to describe it; each moment and melody feels carefully chosen, and I especially enjoyed the way the keyboard was used in this album. It's heavy and beautiful, tightly crafted, and doesn't over stay it's welcome. Each member of the band seams to have come together to support one another and the overall whole of the music within. My solitary knock is that it isn't the most original thing in the world, rather it is a tried and true formula worked to near perfection.
To me this album plays like if My Dying Bride were to make a rock radio album. You have some of that sombre quality, but the tempos, track lengths, and rock riffs don't allow for it to hit anywhere nearly as hard. That being said I actually think this one will work for some people. I am just not among those people. Listen to the song "Gray" and decide if you want more or not. I also had to ding the album because it contains a song called "Air" that just absolutely sucks. J.P. Leppauluto is an above average vocalist, but he's not Aaron Stainthorpe no matter how hard he tries to be, and he's trying really hard here.
This album plays like a Lacuna Coil album but made by a less talented band and producer. It has no atmosphere, no riffs, no surprises, and no memorable moments. It also has this weird peculiarity where the second half of the album sounds much better produced than the first, but upon looking into it there was nothing I could find indicating the band switched producers, or had any kind of turmoil during the recording process. It's just odd. Fans of Lacuna Coil might find something of value here, but even then I would advise such listeners to stick to the real thing. I give it two stars because I wasn't compelled to shut it off-there is nothing offensive about this album. Perhaps that was the problem?
I just have to review some Savage Master.
Savage Master is a Kentucky based outfit that describe their music as occult heavy metal. I love the band and I go see them every time they come to town, which is about yearly for the last 4 years. I would describe their sound as somewhere between NWOBHM, and thrash, with lyrics closer to something like Coven-very evil, but also very catchy heavy metal. The band has changed line-ups a few time but they are super consistent in what they sound like album to album, so if you like this one they have 3 more that are pretty much the same sound (this is very much a compliment).
The driving forces of Savage Master are of course front woman Stacy Savage, and guitarist Adam Neal. Stacy sounds like a witch, her vocal delivery is sharp and cutting, with a hint of a cackle. Adam knows how to dial in a fantastic tone, and they write great fucking songs!
I rate this album 4 out of 5 stars, the 5th star is reserved for a Savage Master live performance. Let me paint the scene for you:
There is an alter of candles. and a single slowly flashing red stage light. Then some of the biggest dudes you have ever seen come on stage in executioners hoods and start just fucking ripping metal-this is the sick fucking riff variety not the flashy guitar solo variety though they can and will do that later. Then a smaller figure clad in a red or black robe comes up on stage, and the robe is dropped to reveal a leather clad Stacy Savage. One of the most charismatic front people in the business. Stacy absolutely owns the stages. The band then proceeds to tear the house down. At some point a gimp appears, and on really special nights the beast they call the desolate one himself appears for the finale. It's a fucking awesome time, everytime!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0ui752fY2o <--DO IT LIVE!
I'm kind of treating this review as a review the band themselves rather than just this album. As I said their sound and quality is incredibly consistent, and in a live set they will play all these Bangers, or at least most of them:
Mask of the Devil
"Blood on the Rose"
"The Ripper in Black"
"Altar of Lust"
With Whips and Chains
"With Whips and Chains"
"Looking for a Sacrifice"
"Burned at the Stake"
Myth Magic and Steel
"High Priestess"
Those Who Hunt at Night
"Queen Satan"
Those would be my 8 choice cuts, but if you like one Savage Master Song you will enjoy them all, and you will enjoy it even more in the live setting.
Under the banner 666
Beneath the inverted crucifix
Beyond hell and back again
Burning hot and we're ready to sin
Point of Contact:
Right, so recently I attended a Venom Inc show-a damn good time indeed, but not the subject of this review. Whilst I was there I met a fellow headbanger whose entire patch vest was covered in Florida thrash and death metal bands. The back consisting of all 7 Death albums. FUCKING NOICE! Needless to say I approached the man, bought him a beer and explained that I was gigantic fan of Chuck Schuldiner. Among other things he mentioned that while playing in Mantas, Schuldiner would often play shows with a thrashy outfit called Nasty Savage, and that they would strongly influence Chuck to make the mind blowing death metal we would come to know and love. Sign me up, if it was worth Chuck's time it's worth mine!
The Lads:
On The Drums: Curtis Beeson (RIP 2024)
On the Bass: Fred Dregischan
On Guitar #1: Ben Meyer
On Guitar #2: David Austin
and last but damn sure not least. "NASTY" Ronnie Galletti
The Sound:
The combined efforts of Beeson, Dregischan, Meyer, and Austin combine to form a thrashy monster that is a well-mixed combination of "Show no Mercy" Slayer and your choice of Mercyful Fate album seasoned with who knows how much underground Florida thrash, and some of their own special herbs and spices.
The Singer:
Nasty Savage is fronted and probably the brainchild of "Nasty" Ronnie Galletti, as the band bears his namesake. His hobbies include but are not limited to smashing TVs over his head, and singing like King Diamond, and he sounds exactly like it. Dude's voice has tons of power and range, but he's singing some really goofy stuff. The lyrics are very "I was a teenage metalhead in the 80s". Which for me is a plus but might be a bit to bear for more serious metalheads.
Closing:
Yeah this is an incredibly fun album, and it bangs hard. You definitely need to hear this one.
Choice Tracks:
All of it is worth your time, but if you need the cream of the crop it's probably "The Morgue". If you are in a silly goofy mood go with "Dungeon of Pleasure" it's about exactly what you think it's about.
Alright, so I am the odd duck that actually likes this album. I will try my best to explain.
First off if you are coming to this album as a Metallica fan, hoping for the next headbanger anthem... yeah it's not on here. You are going to be disappointed. However, if instead you come to this as a Lou Reed fan... well there is still no guarantee that you will like it, but it will make more sense. So... what is this thing and why do I like it?
Lulu is based on the "Lulu" plays by Frank Wedekind, and the two pieces tell a continuous story of a sexually enticing young dancer who rises in society through her relationships with wealthy men but who later falls into poverty and prostitution. The album is heavily inspired by those works, but I have not read them so I can't say for sure if it is a literal retelling of that story or if it just heavily inspired by it. I can say that it has a lot of lyrics that seem to be spoken through that type of character, and yes it comes across oddly when spoken by a 70 year old man. Also the production on this thing could have been better.
What? You aren't sold on it after that juicy insight? I don't blame you this was not an album that was going to work for everybody... most people... some people... anybody? It works for me because I like weird things, I like Lou Reed, and I like poetry. This album is simply spoken word poetry set to music, and I like the poetry within. There are definitely some offputting lines, some outright misses, and some extremely awkward and uncomfortable moments, but there is also a lot of heart break and beauty. Good art is sometimes uncomfortable and offensive.
Perhaps for me this album is as much about what it isn't as what it is. I've already talked about what it is; awkard, uncomfortable, poorly produced, yet also incredibly poetic and artistic. It isn't commercial, easy, sold-out, or concerned with pleasing anyone. People often say that they want honest output from an artist, and there is much talk of "evil record companies" that don't allow an artist to produce the product they want to make. This is an album free of any such restraints, and expectations it is a genuine piece of art made by artists who sincerely wanted to pursue this project. Everybody says they want it, but we all have seen how it was received. Personally, I like what it stands for. I also think that "Iced Honey" is an awesome piece of work.
I have defended this album for ten years at time of this posting. I will continue to defend it for at least the next ten years, probably longer. What I hoped to achieve with this review is to get across the idea that I don't just like the album as a symbol of unfiltered art, I also genuinely enjoy the music and lyrics within-the good and the bad.
I discovered this gem last night.
The band is:
Jan-Chris de Koeijer – vocals, bass guitar
Frank Harthoorn – guitar
Boudewijn Bonebakker – guitar
Ed Warby – drums
Rene Merkelbach – mellotron and grand piano
What you get here is some awesome Death N Roll. When I first heard the band I would have sworn they were from the American South, because this thing is steeped in the blues. You get some slide guitar, and occasional piano backings. It plays like some super beefy southern rock, yet they actually hail from the Netherlands!
Jan-Chris de Koeijer has that tough guy strut to his voice like Phil Anselmo, with a slight drizzle of Chris Barnes at his best. It's heavy, powerful, and definitely not clean, but it's also crystal clear. You can sing along to this album even if you don't speak fluid death-metal. The band plays very groovy and catchy music with pleasant tones dialed in all around, and the mix is excellent too.
The Formula:
50% Pantera
30% The Sword
10% Lynyrd Skynyrd
5% Six Feet Under
5% Hatebreed
The stand out track for me is the title track, and it's representative of what you will get with rest of the album. Lyrically, imagine if Conan the Barbarian had a poetic side and you're gonna be in the right ballpark.
So yeah, this thing rocks. Go listen to it!
This is a good album mostly because it just unapologetically rips off Black Sabbath and Jethro Tull, in the best possible ways, and I'm not just saying that because of the presence of a flute. One of these tracks is literally all the riffs from "A New Day Yesterday" played slower and in a diferent order. If you're gonna steal, steal from the best. That's what they did here and yup it works.
YES! I fuckin' love W.A.S.P. This album, the Last Command, The Crimson Idol, and Headless Children. All fucking great! Blackie Lawless for President!
For the unaquainted, WASP is everything great about Sunset Strip sleeze. Imagine the absolute best of Motley Crue. Now imagine that it's heavier, meaner, and sleazier. That's what WASP is. They are the fuckin' gear. They will even sometimes throw in some southern rock for you. WASP is a party in your speakers, go to the party, drink some Jack, Snort some coke, bang some hookers in the back of a limo. That's what WASP sounds like, and if you just listen to them you can have all that fun without the hangovers, rehab, or STDS! That's a fuckin' win isnt it!?
I understand that Phil Lynott is beloved by many, but goddamn this album is not exciting. It just blurrs into itself, and I just want it to end honestly. Like it's the worst kind of music, because it's not awful. If it was awful I would have something to say about it, but it's not good either. If it was good I would be enjoying myself. I'm not. This is just a slog. This is some music that exists. This is a tall glass of room temperature water, and I'm not even thirsty man. This is a particularly flavorless protein bar, you CAN eat it, and it will sustain you, but it's not tastey. Is this enough metaphores? Have I gotten the mediocrity across? CAN I GO HOME NOW?
I'm going to save you a lot of time here. "Sails of Charon" fuckin' rules, and the rest of this album doesn't. I'm not the biggest Scorpion's fan in the world to begin with but this album is very uninspired and boring outside of Sails. That's it. That's all I can muster. Put "Sails of Charon" in your playlist, and then move on from this. There is no other gold in these hills.