Black Hole - Land of Mystery (1985)^{Release ID: 6108}

I didn’t hate it as much as the other reviews at time of post, but it’s definitely not worth the trip to YouTube. This is just sub-par (not bad-that would be entertaining). Get this off the list.

Reaching for YouTube to complete an album review is a sign either that the album is old or bad that nobody ever sought means to re-release it at any point. Land of Mystery falls under the old category most definitely to the point where it sounds older than it is. Whether this was a conscious effort or more because the budget was non-existent and so they had to make do with whatever they could get will probably never be known. One thing that I can state with a high level of confidence is that Black Hole could not play their instruments (I mean they can’t even keep time) and it is painful to listen to the record at certain points.

It is so painful an experience that I am breaking my rule of listening to something three times as a minimum before reviewing it because I am not sitting through this shit again. Singer Robert Measles cannot sing. Somehow still there are occasions when his vocals work, and the haunting drone of his voice compliments the aesthetic that they are trying to deliver. The rest of the time they are just awful noises that hold no real direction or structure.

Without any strong musicianship to rescue his vocals there is not much in the way of space to hide but I do still find myself looking up from what I am doing captured in some occasional moment of ethereal atmosphere that is usually instantly ruined by the band trying to play something a little too complex for their capabilities. The drums cannot be played on a real drumkit and still sound that light and ineffective, I am sure. The stringed instrument playing is all over the place and the concept of arrangements in general is shocking.

Albums like this really annoy me. They exist on little if any merit of the musicians involved and achieve some cult status from being quirky or by some fluke sounding like a much more highly regarded band from years ago. Terrible album.

1984 had seen the Italian metal scene taking a noticeable stride forwards through Paul Chain’s “Detaching From Satan” E.P. which surprised fans & critics alike with it's uniquely Italian psychedelic take on the traditional doom metal model. And thankfully 1985 would see that momentum continuing via the debut full-length from an unusual three-piece act from Verona known as Black Hole; a record appropriately entitled “Land Of Mystery”.

Black Hole were based around the multi-instrumental talents of Robert Measles who is responsible for the bass guitar & synthesizers on the album as well as the vocals. And from the sound of this bizarre piece of work, one would imagine that he was a bit of a character. I mean “Land Of Mystery” isn’t your average doom metal opus by any means. There’s a lot more to it than that with a number of disparate elements having been brought together for a result that succeeds far more in ambition than it does in execution. There's very little doubt that Black Hole are Italian because there are a number of unique identifiers on display that clearly highlight the fact that this record could ONLY have come from Italy. Firstly, this music owes as much debt to the synthesized soundtracks of Italian horror movies as it does to the doomy heavy metal of Black Sabbath with the influence of 70’s prog rockers Goblin being quite obvious. In fact, Measles synth work clearly separates Black Hole from their doom metal competition & often sounds like it was summoned by Dracula himself however it’s not hard to make the link to the twisted & abstract work of countryman Paul Chain & his previous band Death SS. The other major factor linking Black Hole to their home land is the strong Italian accent that Robert sports throughout. His singing talent is highly questionable & I wouldn’t be advising him to give up his day job any time soon based on this effort but he certainly possesses a haunting charm that keeps me interested regardless. I guess you could say that he’s quite charismatic & it’s hard not to find an endearing quality in the atmosphere he pervades here despite his clear technical flaws & the same can said of the instrumentation to an extent too.

The musicianship on "Land Of Mystery" is nothing short of appalling a lot of the time. Particularly the drumming which regularly struggles to stay in time. The other musicians don’t fare much better in that respect either but there is something kinda cool about the wah-drenched bass lines & the melodic lead guitar work. The production doesn’t do the band any favours however as it’s an absolute shocker. The drums sound like matchboxes, the rhythm guitars are way too low in the mix & the vocals sound all echoey but this arguably contributes to a uniquely dark atmosphere that once again draws on 70’s horror films. This is some very dark music however it’s not overly heavy. The riffs aren’t loud enough for that despite being strongly centered around the influence of early Black Sabbath. I’d suggest that it was a conscious decision to go for a 70’s inspired production actually. It may not be to my taste but there can be no doubt that it leaves “Land Of Mystery” sounding both authentic & hypnotic. It kinda works in the same way as those early second wave Norwegian black metal albums did as its lo-fi presentation more accurately paints the picture of dark dungeons & vampiric castles.

But this is where my positive comments stop & my criticisms begin because “Land Of Mystery” is a deeply flawed piece of work. This could have been a substantially more appealing listen if the heavy Sabbath riffs hadn’t been sacrificed to the production gods & the level of the musicianship hadn't been so despicably bad at times. There are some amazing concepts presented here in theory however in practice…. well they clearly HAVEN’T practiced enough for my liking. These guys can’t play their instruments for sh*t to be honest! Starting the album with the three weakest tracks definitely hasn’t helped the situation either as it’s hard to recover your interest for the rest of the album which is admittedly a lot stronger. Choosing to open with a disappointingly up-tempo number called “Demoniac City” really didn’t give me a good appreciation of what was to come as it’s noticeably lacking in doom & sounds a lot closer to a poor man’s NWOBHM. I do like the expansive palate of influences that have been drawn upon though with the smooth progressive rock of Pink Floyd, the dark goth rock of Bauhaus & the depressive post-punk sounds of Joy Division all popping up on occasion. But overall, I think Black Hole were trying to force the soundtracky ambience to work in the context of some potentially very heavy Black Sabbath riffs & they haven’t achieved a fluent result. The longer songs on the B side definitely work better than the early ones as they’re given more time to weave their web & include a few more cool jazzy parts where Measles gets to show off some pretty classy (if sloppily performed) bass riffs. I mean I don’t need Black Hole to be a metal band. I just need them to let things flow organically & I don’t think they do that enough for my liking on “Land Of Mystery”.

Later Black Hole material failed to make the same sort of impact as this record did & we're unlikely to ever hear of them again but they certainly left their mark with this debut. Whether you consider that mark to be decorative enhancement or an annoying stain is up for debate though.