Greatest Sh*ts
NO, not the literal kind of sh*t (gross!). I mean, what are the top 10 worst songs from the metal bands in your playlist? There are many awesome metal bands but they can never be perfect. There's always at least one flaw in those systems. Here are my top 10 "Greatest Sh*ts" (hidden tracks, interludes, and covers included):
#10: Septicflesh - "Last Stop to Nowhere" (1999) - That album Revolution DNA is unlike other Septicflesh albums, sounding more like industrial goth rock than their usual epic death metal, with just raspy whispers replacing death growls plus melodic monotone singing, and this song is the most experimental of the bunch.
#9 HIM - "It's All Tears (Drown in This Love)" (1997) - It would've been an OK song, but it ended up getting ruined by intentionally adding a stereo-breaking effect at the end that almost killed that album's success when many people returned it to stores thinking they had a broken copy.
#8: Moonspell - "13" (1998) - Another boring interlude that is just trip-hop (experimental synths and drum beats) before ending with a goodbye note from a news show or something.
#7: Meshuggah - "Aztec Two-Step" (1994) - Starts off OK as a nice foreshadowing of the band's djent sound that they would pioneer starting from Destroy Erase Improve, but stops abruptly and later switches to a minute and a half of distorted screaming. Then 5 minutes of silence before ending with a short gunshot rhythm.
#6: Bleeding Through - "Shadow Walker (alternative version)" (2001) - I like the original song, but did they have to ruin it with an alternative version with all that improvised singing/shouting?!
#5: Between the Buried and Me - "No Man's Land" (2003) - Hidden track at the end of The Silent Circus, a ridiculous track filled with screaming/whining nonsense.
#4: Devin Townsend (Punky Bruster) - "Heinous Anus" (1996) - Now this is ridiculous. Toilet humor doesn't belong in punk or metal!
#3: Queensryche - "Breakdown" (1999) - One of the absolute worst from the band, its album, and the entire f***ing century. For a song with that title, there's not a SINGLE MOTHERF***ING METALCORE BREAKDOWN!!!!
#2: Veil of Maya - "The Session" (2006) - It's a fudging RAP TRACK!!
And last but certainly least:
#1: My Dying Bride - "Heroin Chic" (1998) - Yes, this is definitely the worst ever song by a metal band. This is just an 8-minute experimental trip-hop track with electronic sounds and beats, and vocals that sound almost like rapping! F***ING RAPPING!!! Even though I'm not a fan of swearing but don't mind it, the swearing being fuzzed out disrupts the flow of the lyrics, and it's rather selective, leaving words uncensored that are censored nowadays like "b****rd" and "wh*re" and censoring words that are no longer commonly censored in countries outside the UK, like "p*ss" and "tw*t".
So if you feel like discussing, what are your top 10 worst songs from the metal bands in your playlist? Unlike my list, it does NOT have to be one song per band. Discuss!
I don't have the time to put together a top ten right now but here are a couple of examples that really shit me & add little value to otherwise pretty amazing releases:
This hidden track from Kyuss' "Welcome To Sky Valley" is as pointless as they get really.
#1: Equilibrium - Path of Destiny (feat. The Butcher Sisters) (2019) - Folk Melodic Death Metal band, their new album Renegades is the most disappointing of the year for me. This song being the worst offender. They don't know what they're trying here, and in 3 minutes they go from death growls, to The Butcher Sisters who rap, to singing and back and forth giving the worst case of whiplash i've heard in a long time. NO!
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That's the only song I have at the moment, but man this is a good topic that I'm going to have to come back to. These are the songs that are ultimately forgettable and auto skip so I have to actually think on this but I know there are many.
"Lick Doo" is indeed a pointless doo-wop hidden track. And finally, a song here that isn't an under-a-minute track, "Path of Destiny". I'm sure a lot of long-time Equilibrium fans are wondering about their new album "Where did their melodic folk metal sound go??", but "Path of Destiny" would've had some potential as an OK modernized Equilibrium song if the Butcher Sisters didn't butcher it with their rapping. Good choice of songs, Daniel and Shezma!
Another example that Sabbath weren't perfect. In fact it would seem to indicate that they were doing an absolute shit tonne of drugs around this time.
I was able to get six, limiting it to just one per band.
6). Pantera - Rock Out! - Closer to Pantera's eponymous debut album, and the worst track on it. It's just a total mess - one of the few songs that isn't experimental or some sort of interlude that truly deserves this designation.
5). Septicflesh - Underworld Act 1 & 2 - Septicflesh's A Fallen Temple was some sort of concept album I guess, and they threw in these nearly ten minute each tracks that were basically stage plays, or something. I could never make it all the way through either one of them; they're just very painful to listen to.
4). Celtic Frost - Danse Macabre - Celtic Frost wanted to be the most evil, extreme band of their time, so they put together this assortment of odd sound effects and some occasional screaming. It's kind of creepy, but not in an entertaining way. It's just awful to listen to.
3). Metallica - Little Dog - Lulu in it's entirety was bad, but this song was by far the worst. The most experimental, the least melodic, the most garbage song they ever did.
2). Sepultura - Canyon Jam - Some tribal stuff thrown on the end of Roots as a bonus track, unless it was just a hidden track. 13 minutes of unbearable tribal sounds.
1). Tool - Cesaro Summability - Aenima is lauded as one of the greatest metal albums of all time, but it had more terrible, pointless interludes than any other album I've ever come across. This is the worst of them.
I hate all hidden tracks, and most covers.
A few hidden tracks are OK for me, but the ones I hate the most are bad enough to make the top 5 in my sh*t-list (see above). I like covers that metalize popular songs, but cover albums where the band purposely tries to sound like each song's original style (Between the Buried and Me's The Anatomy Of and The Dillinger Escape Plan's Plagiarism) are kinda mundane and, that's right, PLAGIARISM, though NOT bad enough to make the top 10 in my list. I still think Avatar's South Park cover is the worst metal cover...
I totally agree Shadowdoom, modern Septicflesh is my favorite because they mend symphonic and death metal elements perfectly.
I actually like most covers because it's interesting to see songs done in a different style. As long as I like the band preforming the cover, I usually like it. An exception would be In Flames' cover of Wicked Game... that was bad.
One thing I love about metal is that bands make albums, not just individual tracks. Covers often stand out as having a totally different feel to the rest of the album and so they just feel jarring, no matter how good they are. Early Megadeth albums were a prime example of this, the Aerosmith cover on Testament's A New Order album is another. I guess album flow is important to me.
As for hidden tracks, well it's just an unnecessary gimmick. The 666 track at the end of Anathema's Pentecost III EP is horrible, so I'd put that up there as one of my "top 10 greatest shits". Probably the only hidden track that comes to mind that I actually look forward to is Static Journey at the end of Samael's Rebellion EP.
Hey Ben, how about In Flames' cover of Everything Counts on their concept album Whoracle? They specifically chose the song because the lyrics could be interpreted to fit in with the theme of the album, so it goes perfectly with the flow, sound and story-wise. I didn't even know it was a cover when I first heard the album.
Wow, SilentScream, we're really seeing eye to eye in this thread! I know you directed that last comment to Ben, but yeah, that Everything Counts cover really flows perfectly in both the music and the lyrical theme. It's not really my favorite song in that album, but it still makes a smooth connection, and I think this is vocalist Anders Friden's first partial attempt on clean singing. Way better than their cover of Wicked Game, showing once again that the band's melodeath past reigns higher than their alt-metal present!
It's nice to have some like-minded metalheads around! Already finding this site more engaging than RYM ever was.
On that note, I searched to see if you had an account there so I could add you, and I see you do but it looks inactive. You should consider at least rating stuff - god knows metal needs ratings at that site, and I love using friend's ratings to find good stuff.
I find it interesting that our tastes seem similar, yet we only share one clan. All the hail The Horde I guess.
RYM permanently suspended my account a couple of days ago. I suspect that someone reported my private message to them to suggest that they join Metal Academy & they're claiming that I've breached their guidelines. Oh well... I'm not sure I need them now anyway as I have a more effective tool at my disposal.
As far as cover versions go, I can certainly see where Ben is coming from but I prefer to take them on a case by case basis. In general, I think covers are only effective when a) they're given a fresh & unique feel & b) they sound like they belong alongside the originals that surround it. If you take a look at a couple of well-known Judas Priest cover versions as a point of reference, Slayer's cover of "Dissident Aggressor" is a great example of a cover version done well. If you didn't know it was a cover version you'd never know because it fits so nicely into the "South Of Heaven" tracklisting. But then we have Death's version of "Painkiller" which was a disappointing inclusion on "The Sound Of Perseverance". Firstly, it was pretty much a faithful rendition of the original but wasn't anywhere near as effective & secondly, it doesn't sound like the rest of the album. In fact, Chuck actually went with a completely different approach to his vocal delivery for that song & it simply isn't half as appealing. Judas Priest themselves were masters of the cover version with songs like "Diamonds & Rust" & "Better By You, Better Than Me" not only being amongst the highlights of their respective albums but also sounding a) 100% like Judas Priest & b) nothing like the originals.
I completely agree that hidden tracks are one of the world's greatest injustices though. 99% of them are complete garbage. Especially that Anathema one the Ben referred to earlier. It's absolute balls.
As far as cover versions go, I can certainly see where Ben is coming from but I prefer to take them on a case by case basis. In general, I think covers are only effective when a) they're given a fresh & unique feel & b) they sound like they belong alongside the originals that surround it. If you take a look at a couple of well-known Judas Priest cover versions as a point of reference, Slayer's cover of "Dissident Aggressor" is a great example of a cover version done well. If you didn't know it was a cover version you'd never know because it fits so nicely into the "South Of Heaven" tracklisting. But then we have Death's version of "Painkiller" which was a disappointing inclusion on "The Sound Of Perseverance". Firstly, it was pretty much a faithful rendition of the original but wasn't anywhere near as effective & secondly, it doesn't sound like the rest of the album. In fact, Chuck actually went with a completely different approach to his vocal delivery for that song & it simply isn't half as appealing. Judas Priest themselves were masters of the cover version with songs like "Diamonds & Rust" & "Better By You, Better Than Me" not only being amongst the highlights of their respective albums but also sounding a) 100% like Judas Priest & b) nothing like the originals.
Yeah, much as I love Sound of Perseverance, I agree that the Painkiller cover is definitely the weak link there. It does nothing to capture the power of the original, but doesn't make the song its own either.
Anywho, on the original topic, one that leaps to mind for me is Annihilator's "Suicide Society":
Annihilator are already the very definition of hit and miss, with plenty of crap songs among the good ones, but this one really stood out when I first heard it as just hilariously bad. I almost enjoy it, in the same way I enjoy watching The Room, just for how ludicrously crap it is. The lyrics especially are a treat:
"Give me everything I want
Never satisfied
Extreme religion
Hell bent on genocide
Pesticide, open wide
Poisoning the well
Radiation, medication
We're all just going to hell"
It's like Jeff wanted to write an angry song but just couldn't decide on a topic, so decided to just throw all the Bad Things he could think of into one song.
Coroner's version of The Beatles' "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" that ends their classic 1991 album "Mental Vortex" is another example of a misguided cover version. Sure it was a great song to begin with & they do a pretty reasonable job at replicating it but it sounds nothing like the rest of the album & stands out like a sore thumb. The remainder of the album is so focused & fresh that it's inclusion unquestionably reduces my opinion of the overall package which is a real shame as it had the potential to get the full five from me.
Agreed! As you say, it's not bad (I actually quite like it), but it feels out of place. And Death's Painkiller is another perfect example.
Most of mine would be on "Surfin' M.O.D" - that album makes me long for the covers mentioned in this thread!