Fester Fanatics - What Choice Do We Have? (1987)^{Release ID: 44669}

I took my first tentative steps out into the Sydney metal scene as an enthusiastic 15 year-old during the very early 1990's, buoyed by the discovery of a local act by the name of Mortal Sin in 1989 who had seen the wool being pulled away from my eyes in regard to the potential for a local band to create high-quality extreme metal. I very quickly found myself attending every all-ages gig I could find & learning the rub of the land as to who were the key players in a fairly limited market in comparison to the other major Australian cities. One band that was always floating around was a silly bunch of rapscallions by the name of Fester Fanatics who were connected to a couple of other notable Sydney acts at the time. These guys were somewhat of a live staple around those parts in those days & were strongly connected to the thrash metal scene that I'd become so enamored with in the late 1980's. It was around 1990/91 that I became aware of Fester Fanatics' 1987 debut album "What Choice Do We Have?" through the older skater kids at my high school & I remember finding the links to thrash & crossover to be a little bit tenuous at the time. I was already a fan of Massive Appendage (i.e. the novelty thrash metal band that a few of the Fester Fanatics' members were a part of & the act I believe is responsible for producing the very first conventional thrash metal album to come out of Australia) but this record sounded a fair bit less thrashy to my young ears. It also seemed to offer a fair bit less enjoyment so I cast it aside after a few listens & haven't returned to it since. It's time to rectify that today though as I revisit this very underground record from this seminal Sydney metal band.

"What Choice Do We Have?" was recorded & mixed on 8-track 1/2'" tape at Fatboy Studios some time in 1987 with the album being released on 8th December that year. It was self-produced by guitarist Darren McCormack (aka Jed Starr of Massive Appendage, Kings Cross & Killing Time) which would appear to have been a mistake on the evidence here because this record sounds raw & noisy as fuck & not in a good way. In fact, I'd suggest that any chance the album had of being successful was nullified by this element alone if I'm being honest. The vocals of notorious front man Alfie Fester (who the band was named after thanks to Alfie's signature bald-headed look) are also pretty rough & a long way from accomplished. That probably doesn't matter as much as it might for other bands though as there's no doubt at all that Fester Fanatics didn't take themselves too seriously. We may not have the blatant sexual references that Massive Appendage's "The Severed Erection" album built its reputation on but there are four tongues firmly wedged into the cheeks of the four band members here.

Although it's known as a thrash record, "What Choice Do We Have?" sees Fester Fanatics taking a whole bunch of creative directions with the most prominent component clearly coming from traditional heavy metal which is the only primary genre tag I can justify here. Just listen to the obvious references to Black Sabbath's "Children of the Grave" on the silly album low point that is "My Mama Wears Army Boots" for a clear example of Fester Fanatics' influences. The eighteen tracks do include a couple of tracks each from the thrash metal & crossover thrash genres but it's simply not enough to justify a thrash label for the album overall. I think people tend to want to reach for the crossover tag based purely on the extensive use of gang vocals & the general silliness in the song-writing. Across the album you'll also find moments that call on Anthrax-style rap metal, speed metal that sounds like sped-up Iron Maiden, the glam metal of Jed Starr, his brother Snuff Beastly & drummer Tubby Wadsworth's other band King's Cross, hardcore punk & even some dalliances with smooth jazz & jazz fusion. It doesn't make much sense from a creative point of view but then I'm not sure it's supposed to either. It's all about having a bit of drunken fun with your mates & it no doubt served that purpose at the time too.

The quality of the lengthy tracklisting is questionable though to be fair. I quite like about half of it but wouldn't say that there's anything I feel like returning to at any point either. There's not anything terribly awful included though so it's kind of a middling record in many respects. The best moments are no doubt when Jed let's it rip with some stunning lead guitar work which makes the rest of the record sound decidedly amateurish in comparison. Jed has always been an awesome guitar player & there are a number of moments spread across the album that highlight that beautifully, particularly his unaccompanied Eddie Van Halen-style solo piece in "Musicians Choice" which is arguably the best thing on the album. I definitely enjoy Fester Fanatics' thrashier moments more than their more commercially accessible heavy metal material too but that's no surprise really, is it? I just don't think there's enough of it here to keep me interested with some of the chuggy heavy metal tunes sounding a little phoned in, even if the band members all prove themselves to be quite capable.

At the end of the day, there has to be also-rans & "What Choice Do We Have?" falls well & truly into that camp as there are much better early Australian metal releases than this one. It's not in the same class as the Massive Appendage album in my opinion & I don't think too many classic heavy metal fans are gonna find all that much appeal in it either as Alfie's vocals simply aren't strong enough to compete in that space. The only place I see this release fitting in is in the novelty record market which is extremely niche & is not really any of my business.

For fans of Massive Appendage, King's Cross & Scatterbrain.