Review by shadowdoom9 (Andi) for Exterminator - Total Extermination (1987)
We interrupt my Horde Death Metal Modern Era challenge journey for a different nice polite review. So please sit down and watch me talk the WORST F***ING ALBUM TO EXIST IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!!!!
Much worse than My Dying Bride's "Heroin Chic", much worse than Between the Buried and Me's "The Man Land", much worse than Septicflesh's "Underworld" series... Exterminator's Total Extermination album is a real bag of sh*t that stinks far beyond worse than a skunk with B.O. sleeping in a Rafflesia flower (the largest and smelliest flower, can be found in my country, Malaysia) in a wasteland of garbage and sewage. That's how sucky this album is! I HATE IT!!!
And yes, I know... "Hate" is a strong word. But maybe I should use an even STRONGER word than "hate"!! This is a f***ed attempt to combine all the fast extreme metal genres (black, death, thrash, speed) into a messy stew that furthers proves the old saying, "Too many cooks spoil the broth". Well those "cooks", more like "c*cks", are a bunch of a*****es who can go f*** c**ts with their d*cks!
And if you think I'm gonna hurt their precious little feelings if they find this review, well.... SCR*W THEIR FEELINGS!!! Just like what that serial killer Aileen said, they're an inhuman bunch of f***ing living b****rds and b****es and they got their a**es nuked in the end!
You know how people who don't appreciate metal think it's nothing but highly distorted noise, but that's not true at all? Well that's because they never listened to this d*****bag! The guitar "soloing" is indeed just sh*t that sounds like a chainsaw massacre in a violin orchestra concert. Would you even call that music!? WOULD YOU!?!
And don't even get me started on track 6, "Speed Metal". Fortunately, that crap-track isn't credited for helping pioneer the speed metal sound. It would've given speed metal a bad rap! That's a middle finger for speed metal that can p*ss speed metal fans off. F*** THAT SONG HARD!!!!
Not even the cover artwork can score some points for this garbage. It just looks like an execution happening in a dungeon with that racist Nazi symbol the swastika on the wall! And the drawing is weak as a motherf***er, I can draw so much better when I was in preschool, which by the way, was long before I can even draw. It's not artful, it's just AWFUL AS F*CK!!! The album even sounds like it was recorded in that dungeon, if not one of the so-called "metal warriors"' bedroom!
If you want a conclusion, fine then! This. Is. BULLSH*T!!!! This dirt-wipe of an album is not worth anyone's time, whether you're a metalhead or not! If for some reason, you have a copy of this album on vinyl, cassette, or CD in your old-school metal collection, I highly suggest you either stomp it into pieces, shoot it with a gun if you have one, pour gasoline on it and set it on fire, or throw into a junkyard garbage crusher Lord of the Rings style. As for anyone who has listened it to yet, DON'T F***ING BOTHER!!!!!
Final grade: F--- (triple minus) and an "F--- YOU!!!"
One more time, DO NOT GET THIS SH*TTY ALBUM. PERIOD!!
(heavy panting after all that rude fury, then switches back to polite mode)
And that concludes my nice polite review. Thank you for reading!